Wednesday, October 14, 2015


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 Guys have you ever been called an Asshole?
Ladies have you ever been called a Bitch?
In this piece I wanted to explore this not so flattering description of one’s behavior. Guy’s let’s face it we’ve all at some point in our lives have probably been called an asshole by someone. Take a moment to think about it.
The guy on the bike you almost hit with your car while talking on your cell phone. Perhaps it was by that nice young lady you met but for some reason decided to stand her up for the date you had planned.
If you are a dad even you don’t always get a pass. This has probably been uttered a time or two when you’ve told your kid they could not go hang out with their friends until they cleaned up that disaster of a room.  Does this sound familiar? “No you cannot use the car”. “Don’t touch my things”. The reaction from your kids might sound like a mutter but what they are saying is “He's such an Asshole”.  4758913967_make_amends_father_after_argument_800x800_xlarge.jpeg
Boy there is nothing that gets a guy moving faster than being called an asshole. (Well that and maybe getting the finger thrown at ya).  It is indeed a trigger word.
Hard to believe that husbands, wives or couples are not excluded from this not so term of endearment. How do you think you might react hearing one of these words coming from your wife or partner lips?
One might feel stunned or shocked then pissed.    Am I right?
“Who’s an “Asshole… me really”?  Yeah it’s you.
Think about some of the behavioral displays you may have exhibited to label you such a thing. How many times has she asked you to do something and you completely ignored her request? How long is she expected to keep picking up your nasty draws or socks off the bedroom or bathroom floor?
She asks but still you leave the toilet seat up with your remains deposited on the ream. Who does that?  An asshole.  Ding-ding -ding!
Now for you ladies. I bet there has been a few times when you’ve heard the word bitch being thrown in your direction. Women don’t take to kindly to be called that word to begin with but when you double down and call an African American woman a black bitch; Yo behind better prepare for whatever’s in the room that she can put her hands on to  come flying your way. Ladies can I get a witness? Now back to having had the B-word thrown your way.women shopping.jpg
How about the woman you wrestled that Michael Kors bag away from at that sale in Macy’s?


For you women behind the counter think about that customer you could not give a refund on their merchandise because the return date had expired.
“Bitch”
Did I mention that silly them did not even have a receipt?  Never mind the fact that it wasn’t even from your place of business. Stupid Bitch!
Do you have daughters?  I don’t want to leave out you moms who have the nerve to object to your daughter going out dressed like she’s auditioning for hoochie of the year (Mothers know what I’m talking about).mom hoochie.png
(Daughter) Bitch!
It’s that look they give you after telling them you’re only 16 there is no way in hell you dating a grown ass man! (Daughter) Bitch!
I’m sure many of us we can all identify with this subject. I want to go back to how this subject relates to couples frustrated with their partners behavior. Maybe you and your wife/partner were having a conversation that takes a turn towards the oh- oh. You know when both parties ignore the fact that listening is a skill and a well needed one.  It kind of comes in handy when two people are trying to have an adult conversation.
Man Against Woman
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Remember your partner may feel just as strongly about their viewpoint as you do about yours. No matter how hard you beat one another over the head with your argument there is no capitulation.  Frustration mounts and without thought you mutter the word  “asshole”.
Now I understand there are some of you saying Oh know I would never call my husband an “asshole”. That may be true but I bet that has not stopped a few you from thinking it. Most of the time we probably deserve it. That being said levels of frustration can lead to anger. Emotions run high which can mean all bets are off.
The same thing goes for the men.
Women have a way of not only sticking you with a verbal knife but twisting it once it’s in. Here’s an example: Well maybe if you could go longer than a minute forty-five we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Ouch!
As he is trying to stagger back to his feet He has this for a comeback: “You just have to be a Bitch” don’t you?
Now not saying every guy has said it out loud but it’s probably has popped in his mind after a painful and frustrating discussion.  Guys does this sound familiar?
“I’m so tired of this bitch putting me through this same old sh….”.  
I’m just going to say it. Forgive your man ladies.  This does not mean that’s who you are.
It’s just how he is reacting to your behavior in that particular moment.
Nevertheless saying B word out loud it makes for very cold shoes to stand in  then and probably now.  I’m sorry for you.
I do think men have it worse when or this occurs.
You might have to find someone to taste test your food and sleep with one eye open? Hopefully your sunshine days will return soon.
What do you think?
Are men more forgiving of this misdeed?  Most men probably forgive their women for being called an A-hole because 7 times out of ten they are right.
Come on guys you know we are. Try not to get defensive. Most often than not  we realize it ourselves at times.
It usually hits us right at the first time her eyebrow raises. That’s when we know Oh sh.. I just F’d up.
What to do, what to do?
The answer a lot of us come up with is:”I’m in this deep I may as well keep digging”.
It’s not the smartest answer and that’s for sure but no one has ever accused us of being smart when it comes to women.
Try avoiding all of this non-sense.
The next time you and your partner have a sit down regarding your relationship, the kids, or bills keep this in mind.  When she asks honey does this look good on me? Take a deep breath before answering.
Always listen first then process what you just heard before responding.
You have to use a little conscious thought and think: Will I sound like an asshole if I say what I’m thinking right now?
Ladies think to yourselves: Am I coming off like a bitch because I don’t like his mother?
Am I being a bitch because I make a big fuss over the fact that he wants to sit at home on the couch and watch the game instead of going shopping with me?
I’ll just wrap this up by saying if you’re asking yourselves these types of questions then you probably are.
Written By:  Larry D. Miller


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